Does the state of one’s home really dictate whether kids should play together? Do moms truly only let their kids play with kids whose houses are clean and pristine?
Here’s some background: While we were driving home from church, James asked if he could invite a friend over to play today. I was getting ready to respond that, yes, he could, when Julie said that, no, he could not. I asked he why that was, and she said something about “girlie reasons,” and that I wouldn’t understand. Hmm…
When we got home, the kids went inside, and I tried (stupidly or ignorantly or both) to understand a little bit about what was going on. Julie explained to me that because our house is in a state of disarray, that a friend might be able to come and play today, but that he wouldn’t be permitted to come back if the mom heard about how “dirty” and “icky” the house was. She cited to me an example of a girl who lived in the same neighborhood as a niece who came to play twice, but never returned, supposedly because the house was chaotic.
I don’t understand. I used to play with friends whose houses were at least 20 times messier and 50 times smellier than our house is right now, and some of them were my best friends. I’m certain that my mom knew how these people lived, because they were all fairly good friends.
So, dear readers, please offer your advice to this Clark in Wyoming. Have you, either as a mother or a kid or something in between, ever stopped playing with a friend or avoided having your friend go over to a friend’s house because it was dirty? Comments are open.
6 comments:
Interesting query. I see both sides. As a woman I am embarrassed to have friends come over when my home is in a state of disaray. However my friends are my age, an age of having their own dwelling, seemingly always kept much cleaner than my own.
I remember my best friends growing up had normal, lived in homes and I didn't mind. Some friends did have messy homes but I never stopped going to their house because of it, and I never remember telling my mom about how their mom kept a house.
I don't want to get into this argument. I don't understand the female mind. It happened to me and my kids more than once. I had to clean house if I wanted visitors.
Perhaps we should clarify: this is not an argument. Nobody's mad at anyone else, and there's no marital discord over this issue. We're just trying to understand.
I don't know if I ever paid attention to the cleanliness/ non-cleanliness state of my friends' homes. And if I did I don't think that was something I ever mentioned to my Mom. It's no fair---when you are moving you are allowed to keep a messy house. Just like when you are pregnant or have a newborn baby. Or.......the list can go on and on.
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-typed by Ethan Clark (I think it's plain to see his views on this!)
I especially enjoyed Ethan's comment. Cow sow low tow bow mow back at you.
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